


like real people do

by jackattillo



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Magic AU, Multi, Slow Burn, monster au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6487621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackattillo/pseuds/jackattillo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fire must have been pretty small, because within a handful of minutes the firemen were leaving his apartment with smiles and laughs and shouts of “see you again next week!”, the fuckers. Bruce walked back into the apartment to see just how bad the damage was.</p><p>All things considered, it could have been worse.</p><p>Or, the one in which Bruce is a wizard and none of his friends are human, but that's perfectly fine with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read any magic/monster au's in the funhaus fandom so I decided to write one myself

The thing about magic was that sometimes, things just went _wrong_.

“Evenin' Ms. Reynolds,” Bruce smiled at the woman who lived next door as she poked her head out into the hallway, who didn't so much as blink at the fact that his face was covered in ash. He was leaning against the wall next to his door as the fire brigade rushed into his apartment to deal with the fire.

“Another accident?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“You aren't hurt, are you?”

“No ma'am.”

Satisfied, she smiled at him before retreating back into her apartment. Bruce didn't know what was more worrying, the fact that his neighbors weren't surprised by situations like this anymore or the fact that the firemen greeted him by name as they walked into his apartment. He liked to think of himself as a responsible guy when it came to magic, and he liked to think that he was pretty damn good at it too. But regardless of how many safety precautions he took, occasionally things would blow up. Or catch on fire. Or both, as was the case today.

The fire must have been pretty small, because within a handful of minutes the firemen were leaving his apartment with smiles and laughs and shouts of “see you again next week!”, the fuckers. Bruce walked back into the apartment to see just how bad the damage was.

All things considered, it could have been worse.

His still smoking cauldron was now fused to the partially melted counter and the ceiling directly overhead was scorched and still smoking. The cabinets closest to the disaster zone were crumbling and charred and the small kitchen curtains that hung up in the window above the sink were almost completely burnt away.

It was all unfortunate but easy enough to fix. Probably.

Ignoring the fact that his kitchen was in serious need of repair and was non-functional until he got around to fixing it, he had two major problems on his hand; he had to buy another cauldron (and they weren't cheap) and had to re-stock all of his potion making supplies- because of course those were destroyed in the explosion instead of his canned goods. It'd be easy enough to find unicorn hair and dragon blood and all the other stereotypical-but-necessary ingredients crucial to potion making, but it was all just so _expensive_. Bruce made a comfortable amount of money down at the editing room at the local news station, but most of his money came from selling potions and poultices and other magical goods on the side. Things he couldn't make until he re-stocked.

“Well shit,” Bruce said to himself, crossing his arms over his chest as he stood in the middle of the room, staring at the smoldering remains of his kitchen. His plan for the night had been to work on a few quick and easy orders before getting some dinner and slugging out on the couch. So much for that idea.

With a resigned sigh, Bruce grabbed his wallet and keys off of the table and slid his jacket on. At the sound of jingling keys, his familiar trotted into the room and meowed up at him.

“What?” Bruce asked. The cat meowed again and looked over at what remained of the kitchen before looking back at him with what could only be described as harsh judgment.

“Don't look at me like that, accidents happen." The cat stared at him unblinkingly. "Hey, while I'm out at the store, mind cleaning up?” His cat just stared at him for a moment longer before turning and walking out of the room, tail flicking up behind him.

“What a useless...” Bruce trailed off with a minor shake of his head as he left the apartment, hoping that when he came back, Joel would have at least started to clean up.

But knowing him as well as he did, it was very, very unlikely.

&

The medicinal smell of various herbs and plants greeted Bruce as he walked into the store, a small bell chiming above the door to announce his presence.

“Well hey there stranger. Fancy seeing you here," the blonde behind the counter said cheerfully.

“Hi Elyse.”

Bruce had met Elyse two years ago when he had first moved to the lovely town of Freestone. She worked at _The Last Spell_ , the local magical supply shop, and he was convinced that she actually lived in the store because whenever he came in to buy something, she was always behind the counter. Didn't matter what day it was or what time he stopped by, Elyse was there, always with a smile on her face.

“Weren't you in here just yesterday?” she asked as she propped her arm against the counter and rested her chin against her hand.

“I was, but then today I had," Bruce paused for a moment, face scrunched up in thought,   
... an incident, if you will," he explained with a small shrug as he grabbed one of the baskets piled up near the front door before heading towards the nearest shelf.

“Clearly. Unless the ash all over your face is some sort of new trend?” Elyse giggled. Bruce frowned and wiped his face with the cuff of his jacket. Some of it managed to come off but for the most part, he only smudged it further across his cheek. From the corner of his eye, Bruce watched as Elyse grabbed something from under the counter and walked over.

“So how much did you lose during the 'incident'?” she asked as she started to clean off his face with a wet-nap, standing on the tips of her toes to actually reach him.

“Everything. I even need a new cauldron now, not to mention half a kitchen,” he admitted. Elyse whistled lowly as she finished cleaning up Bruce's face, wadding up the napkin and placing it into his basket for the time being.

“That's awful, I'm so sorry.”

“It happens,” Bruce said honestly as Elyse walked over to the shelves, beckoning for him to follow with a small wave of her hand.

Without asking what he needed to stock up on, she started plucking various things from the shelf and added them to his basket: wolfs-bane, a sprig of lavender, sage, sunflower seeds, a few butter fly wings... A comfortable silence fell between them as she darted around the store and filled up his basket with everything he had lost in the fire. Bruce was amazed that she remembered everything he had bought- although really, given how often he frequented the store, he shouldn't have been.

“What are you going to do now?” Elyse asked as she scooped up spider eggs into a small plastic bag that Bruce held open for her.

“Once I finish up here, I have to stop by the hardware store to grab some wood and nails and-”

“Wait, you're going to fix the kitchen _yourself?_ ”

Bruce shrugged and watched as she tied up the bag of spider eggs with a small ribbon. “I was thinking about it. How hard can it be? Fresh paint will take care of the ceiling, building new cabinets can't be that hard... The counter might be harder to fix but I bet I can figure it out with some time. Or more magic, maybe." What's the worst that could happen? He could blow it up again?

Elyse gave him a skeptical look, one eyebrow arched in judgment as she walked further down the shelf and stopped in-front of a case of dried beetles.

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You're not going to fix the kitchen all by yourself, that's crazy talk,” Elyse said in the kind of voice that meant this wasn't up for discussion. She stared him down for a moment and waited until he slumped his shoulders in defeat before filling the box up with beetles, placing them in his basket on her way back to the checkout.

Bruce stood there for just a moment before following after her with a sight.

He started to unload his basket onto the counter but every time he took something out, Elyse put it right back in.

“Elyse,” he started, “what are you-”

“You can't afford this,” she said bluntly. A moment later a faint blush spread across her cheeks as she looked down and fiddled with the hem of her smock. “What I mean is... I know how expensive this stuff is. And I know how often you come in here- I see you, what, three, four times a week? A-And I know that the people down at the news station don't nearly pay you enough for all the work you do and... well,” Elyse shrugged, as if that somehow explained everything.

Bruce waited for a further explanation, waited for her to actually make sense, but after a few seconds he realized that she was done talking. “Elyse, I have to pay for this. Otherwise it's _stealing_. Which is _illegal_.”

“I'm not gonna let you steal them, dummy. I'm gonna buy them for you.”

Bruce stared at Elyse in shock. She stared at back at him with a shy smile as she rocked on the balls of her feet. He opened his mouth to object because no, he wasn't going to let her pay for all of this, absolutely not- but then she was looking up at him pleadingly.

“Look, I... Let's make a deal, okay?” Hearing a phrase like that usually meant that trouble would soon follow, but he trusted Elyse. Besides, Bruce knew for a fact that phoenix's didn't have any binding abilities when it came to making promises and deals so he didn't have to worry about accidentally selling his soul.

Again.

“I'll pay for all this,” she motioned to the basket with a wiggle of her fingers, “and in return, you call someone to fix up your kitchen so you don't have to do it.”

“Last time I checked, deals were supposed to be beneficial for both parties. What do you get out of this?”

“I have this friend, he works in construction- or maybe in remodeling? I don't know, he works with tools and is really good at fixing stuff,” she said with a self affirming nod. “He's really good, I promise! He built all the counters and shelves in here, but lately his business hasn't been getting enough work and it would really mean the world to him if he got a call for a job and that's where you come in."

Bruce hummed in thought and crossed his arms over his chest. He had no problem with hiring this guy to come in and fix up his kitchen. The problem with this deal was that Elyse would be paying for his stuff, which costed a few hundred dollars, and from the conversations they regularly had, he knew that she was also struggling financially. He wasn't sure if he could do that to her.

Elyse watched him with wide hopeful eyes as she shifted her weight from foot to foot, lower lip drawn between her teeth.

“... Okay, fine,” Bruce smiled at Elyse's immediate reaction, which was to jump up and down a few times with a wide grin on her face. “Give me his number and I _guess_ I'll let you pay for my things.”

“You're too kind Mr. Greene, too kind indeed.”

“Yeah yeah,” he waved dismissively, already planning on buying her lunch for the next three weeks, “but if he botches up my kitchen, I'm never buying you coffee again.”

“We'll see about that.”

Elyse kissed Bruce's cheek before he left and if he drove all the way home with a smile on his face because of it, well, that was his business and his business alone.


	2. Chapter 2

The kitchen was a mess and it was only partly to blame on the fire from the day before.

The counter tops were bare, everything on them temporarily relocated to the dining table which was now pushed up against the far wall of the kitchen. The floor was littered with soot covered rags and old newspapers and a can of vibrant orange paint sat in the sink. Bruce kneeled precariously on the counter and dipped his paintbrush back into the paint before swiping it across the ceiling to cover up the scorch mark that he had tried (and failed) to scrub out earlier that morning.

“If the ceiling's white, then why are you painting that spot orange?”

Bruce turned his head towards the doorway just as a drop of paint dripped from the ceiling and landed on the side of his face. Joel was leaning against the door-frame with his arms crossed over his chest, purple bathrobe hanging off one of his shoulders.

“Because _someone_ ,” he glared at Joel, “didn't clean up the kitchen yesterday like I asked, so now the ceiling is permanently stained black.”

“Don't blame me for this, I'm just a cat, I don't know how to clean things,” Joel said in his defense as he tried to look as innocent as possible. He almost succeeded, save for the incredibly impish smile on his face.

“You're a pain in my ass, that's what you are.” Bruce grumbled as he turned his attention back to the ceiling, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand and accidentally smearing the paint down his jaw and into his beard.

Joel sauntered over to Bruce and rested his hands on the edge of the counter, his black tail swaying behind him. He sniffed the air and stared at the paint, nose crinkling from the harsh smell of it. “Bruce, our kitchen's white and pastel green. That orange spot is going to stick out like a sore thumb.”

“It's _my_ kitchen, first of all, not yours. I go to work and pay the bills, you just lounge about and lick your own ass all day. And secondly, it's the only paint I had laying around.” Bruce explained. He found it in the kitchen closet, next to an unopened pack of clothespins and his blender. Why he had a can of vibrant orange paint, he didn't know, but he thought that maybe Elyse had been involved.

“Well it's hideous and you should be ashamed.”

Bruce dipped the tips of his fingers into the paint and flicked them at Joel. Joel hissed and swatted at the air, as if that would help, before darting out of the kitchen with his ears reclined against his head. Bruce laughed as he started to paint the ceiling again.

“Hey, if you're gonna stay human, put on some real clothes,” Bruce shouted as he inspected the ceiling. The orange really did look out of place but at least the scorch mark was completely hidden? He placed the paintbrush in the sink and climbed off the counter, his knees cracking not so pleasantly as he stretched his legs out. “The repairman is coming over soon and I don't want your gross hairy body to scare him away!”

“I'm beautiful, fuck you!” Joel shouted from the other room which earned another, wheezier laugh from Bruce.

The knock on the door came just as Bruce had finished rinsing off the paintbrush. “Just a second!” he called out as he turned the sink off and dried his hands on a small dish towel tucked into the handle on the refrigerator. He left the kitchen to go answer the door, except Joel was already there with his hand on the doorknob and a smirk on his face. And he was still wearing just the bathrobe. _Bastard_.

“Well hello!” he greeted as he swung the door open. He was doing this just to piss Bruce off, probably. Fucking cats. “You must be Elyse's friend. I'm Joel, come on in and make yourself at home.”

“Uh..."

Bruce couldn't even see the man from where he was standing but he didn't have to see him to know that he was probably very confused. Most people had that reaction when they met Joel for the first time. After all, it wasn't everyday you saw a grown man with cat ears, a tail and yellow eyes. Plenty of witches and wizards had familiars but as far as Bruce knew, they were always strictly animals. Leave it to him to have the one cat who could also turn into a human; though if he was being honest, it was entirely his fault.

(The intent of the spell had been to give Joel the ability to talk. Clearly, something went terribly wrong. Or terribly right, depending on who you asked.)

Deciding not to let the poor man suffer any longer, Bruce walked over and lightly pushed Joel out of the way. His familiar hissed out a soft “Hey!” in response and batted at his shoulder.

“Ignore him, that's what I do,” Bruce said with a small chuckle as he extended his hand out. “I'm Bruce.”

“Matt,” the main said as he shook Bruce's hand, a mix of amusement and confusion on his face.

“It's very nice to meet you Matt, and thank you so much for coming over,” Bruce released Matt's hand and took a step back. Matt offered a crooked smile before walking into the apartment, eyes darting around and taking everything in.

People always assumed that because Bruce was a wizard, his apartment would be filled with dead chickens and bats and all sorts of weird, creepy occult things. That was far from the case. Instead of skeletons and arcane runes on the walls, his apartment was decorated with photos of his family and friends and a few minimalist art pieces. Besides his cauldron- which was kept in the closet- and a few cabinets full of potion supplies, there was nothing to give away the fact that he was non-human. 

Bruce led Matt into the kitchen and watched as the other man's eyes widened in surprise.

“What happened here?” he asked as he walked forward and ran his hands along the seared edges of what remained of his cabinets, the paint splattered newspapers crinkling under his boots.

“Elyse didn't tell you?” Bruce asked as he went to the fridge and grabbed two beers. He held one out in offering to Matt, not even bothering to ask if he wanted one, but Matt took it with a small nod of his head in thanks, attention still on the ruined kitchen.

“No, she did, but I wanted to hear it from you. Her stories tend to be... exaggerated.”

“I was brewing a potion. Things went wrong.”

“I can see that.”

Bruce twisted the lid off of his beer and leaned against the fridge, one ankle crossed behind the other. Matt stood there with his beer in hand and continued to asses the damage, occasionally reaching out to run his fingers against the burnt wood. While Bruce waited, Joel walked in and pressed himself against Bruce's side, cheek rubbing up against his shoulder. Bruce brought up his free hand to scratch underneath his chin absentmindedly. Within seconds, the room was filled with the sounds of Joel's purring.

“So, can you fix it?”

“I can, yeah,” Matt said with a curt nod before opening his beer. “Rebuilding the cabinets should only take me a few hours, but the counters need some serious work. They'll probably take me a few days... is that alright?”

“Are you kidding? It took this guy a whole week to assemble the tv display,” Joel snorted. Bruce went to flick his ear but Joel ducked out of the way just in time and hid behind Matt, who simply stood there and watched him with a small smile.

“I can start today if that works with you. Otherwise-”

“No, today is fine. You're amazing, a goddamn blessing.”

Matt smiled and took a sip of his beer before placing it on the counter and heading out of the apartment to presumably grab his tools from his truck. Bruce watched him leave and turned just in time to catch Joel staring at his ass as he walked away. With a roll of his eyes he lightly slapped Joel on the back of the head.

“Animal abuse!” he shouted, the corners of his mouth pointed up in a grin, “I'm calling the ASPCA!”

“Good, they can have you.”

Joel pouted and his ears reclined back against his head. Bruce simply smiled and handed him the rest of his beer before walking out to go see if Matt needed any help bringing his stuff in.

&

Bruce opened the door to his apartment and was greeted by the sound of his friends shouting at the television.

“What are you guys playing?” he asked as he toed his shoes off and hung his jacket up. Elyse threw her hands up in the air in celebration just as Matt groaned and flopped against the back of the couch. Joel was snuggled between them and looked over the couch to smile at Bruce, controller hanging from his hand.

“Mario Kart. Elyse keeps kicking our asses.”

“I'm the best around! And nothing's ever gonna keep me down!” she sang happily, dancing in her seat. Matt hung his head in defeat but even then he was still smiling at her antics.

“Oh we'll see about that. Joel give me your controller, I need to show her who the real Mario Kart champion is around here.”

Two weeks had passed since Matt finished fixing up the kitchen. It had take him a little over a week to do it and in that week, he had somehow wiggled himself a spot in their everyday life. Some days, when Bruce had come home from work, he'd find Matt working away in the kitchen. Other times Matt would be passed out on the couch with cat Joel curled up on his stomach. Coming home to find Matt in his apartment was just something that he had come to expect.

So when Matt finished the kitchen and went to leave on that final day, Bruce made sure to pull him aside for just a quick moment. “Hey, I'll see you tomorrow yeah?” Any nervous feelings Bruce had vanished when he saw the relieved look on Matt's face.

And as it turned out, Matt and Elyse were somewhat of a package deal. The moment she learned that Matt was spending most his time at Bruce's, she invited herself over.

(“You can't stop me so don't even try,” she had said one night as she walked into Bruce's apartment with two large boxes of pizza.

“Trust me, I don't want to,” Bruce had grinned, his heart doing funny things in his chest.)

“You've got to be shitting me!” Bruce screamed. Elyse jumped up from the couch and started doing a small victory dance that was less dancing and more controlled flailing. Joel burst out into laughter, curling in on himself with the force of it, and Matt started a slow round of applause.

“No, you cheated, this is bullshit,” Bruce exclaimed as he set up another race.

“What's that Brucie? You want me to kick your ass again?” Elyse teased as she continued to dance.

“You should give up now before it gets really ugly,” Matt warned. Bruce gave him a scandalized look but Matt simply shrugged, turning his attention from the game to petting Joel, who had shifted back into his cat form and had curled up in his lap.

“Alright, come on. Best of three.”

 &

An hour later, Elyse had won ten races in a row and Bruce was threatening to drop-kick his Wii, much to everyone's amusement.


	3. Chapter 3

The television was turned on but the volume was so low that Bruce could just barely hear it. Didn't matter, really, not when it was on just for background noise. He was busy reading up on energy potions for a new order, a dozen of them for a friend of a co-worker down at the news station. It had been years since he had made one and he was pretty sure he remembered how to brew it, but he'd rather be safe than sorry.

From the other room, he could hear a loud crash followed by a thud against the wall.

“Be careful in there! It's the weekend, you guys know that I don't do emergency rooms on the weekend!” Bruce called out as he flipped to the next page, eyes never leaving his book. He was actually very serious: unless someone was fatally injured and needed immediate medical attention he wasn't bringing them to the hospital. He loved his friends, of course he did, but the ER was always packed on the weekend and he wasn't about to waste his time sitting in the waiting room for hours and hours just for the doctor to tell them to get rest and take some Advil for the pain.

Another crash and another thud, this time accompanied by a loud yelp. Bruce grumbled to himself and folded the page he was on before closing the book and setting it aside on the coffee table. Standing up from the couch, he made his way over to Matt's room to tell both Joel and Matt to stop making so much noise doing... whatever the hell it was that they were doing.

“Come on guys, if you're gonna roughhouse, take it out-” Bruce was cut off as the bedroom door suddenly slammed opened. Joel dove out of the room and scrambled off the floor to shut it just as quickly as it had opened, throwing his whole weight against the door with wide, panicked eyes. He was visibly shaking, the fur on his ears and tail standing on end and his clothes-

“Holy shit, are those claw-marks?”

“Yes!” Joel shrieked. From inside the room, something growled and slammed against the door hard enough to shove Joel back a few inches.

Before Bruce could ask what the fuck was going on, Joel was shouting at him. “For Gods sake, help me!” Again, something slammed against the door hard enough for the hinges to creak. Bruce rushed over and stood next to Joel, pressing his shoulder against the door for extra support. The two of them braced themselves as something slammed against the door for a third time with a wall-shaking roar.

“Joel, what the hell is happening here?!”

“So, uh, funny story actually-” _Slam_ “but it turns out that tonight's a full moon and-”

“Peake's a _werewolf_?!”

“What, you didn't know?”

“No!” _Slam_. “I didn't!”

“Oh.”

Matt slammed against the door and Joel whimpered in fear as the wood in the middle of the door started to bend and splinter away. From the other side, they could hear something sharp scrambling against the wood.

“He's trying to claw his way out!” Joel squeaked. Bruce frowned and looked at the door for a moment as the scratching turned more desperate.

“I think I can...” Bruce mumbled to himself, placing his hand firmly against the door. Matt roared again, the noise so loud that Bruce could feel it reverberating in his bones, but he kept his attention on his hand. Under his breath he started to chant in Latin and just when Joel was about to ask what he was trying to do, a faint golden light came out from his palm. Slowly, it spread across the door.

“Oh, great, you made the door glow. What a neat trick, but how is that going to stop a werewolf from breaking out and eating our faces?!”

“It's a Re-Enforcement Charm,” Bruce said as he traced a looped sigil on the door before slowly drawing his hand back and a moment later, the sigil became visible as it too started to glow. “Matt's not going anywhere until I take it down... And werewolves don't eat faces, they eat hearts.”

“Faces, hearts, whatever,” Joel said as he took a step away from the door and eyed it wearily. “I just don't want him to eat _anything_ of mine.”

The walls shook as Matt launched himself at the door but the charm worked; the door didn't so much as budge. Bruce wanted to be proud of himself for a job well done, but it was hard to feel anything but sympathy when the apartment was filled with the sounds of Matt throwing his body around and desperate, angry howls.

“What do we do now?” Joel asked. He was still shaking a little in fear, his shredded clothes barely hanging off his body, his eyes wide and worried for his friend. For the first time in a long while, Bruce thought Joel looked incredibly small.

“We wait until morning.”

&

Bruce felt like he had just fallen asleep when he was suddenly jerking awake. He blinked sluggishly and went to lift a hand to rub at his eyes except something was pinning both arms down. Or _someone_ , rather. It took him several long seconds to remember that he had fallen asleep while leaning against the wall, Joel resting his head on one shoulder while Elyse took the other, and it took him even longer to remember what had happened.

(After he had successfully sealed the door and re-enforced the walls as best as he could from outside of the room, he had called Elyse.

She had left work early and rushed to the apartment. Apparently, Matt had bought some sort of potion that was supposed to have prevented him from shifting during the next full moon. If Bruce had known about Matt's condition, he could have stepped in and helped him out. There were things that could be done to ease the side effects and to make the shifting process more comfortable, ways to make werewolves more docile when they had fully turned. But there wasn't a cure for Lyncathropy.)

Bruce leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, ready to go to sleep again, when he heard a noise. A faint, gentle knocking, the same noise that must have woken him up originally.

“Hello? Are... are you guys out there?” _Matt_.

“Yeah, 'm coming,” Bruce said softly as he carefully weaseled his way out from underneath Joel and Elyse. They both kept sleeping and even curled closer together, Elyse nuzzling into Joel while Joel's tail tried to wrap around them. Bruce pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes as he stood up and stretched before heading over to the door. The charm was still in place and the door gave off a gentle golden glow.

“You okay buddy?” Bruce asked as he pressed the side of his face against the door. A long moment passed before he got his answer.

“I'm... I'm okay, y-yeah.”

With a self affirming nod, Bruce placed his hand over the sigil and said the Anti-Charm. Just as slowly as it spread, the light silently retreated back into Bruce's palm, the small hallway darkening as the gentle light faded away. Moving his hand to the door knob, Bruce pushed the door open.

The room was a mess. The walls were covered in deep, jagged claw-marks and the ceiling light was completely shattered, bits of glass dotting the floor below. The mattress, which was torn open and gutted out, was hanging haphazardly off the broken and splintered remains of the bed-frame. The tattered remains of blankets, pillows and clothes were scattered across the room. The desk was nothing more than a heap of wood scraps and the closet door was unhinged and smashed to pieces.

And in the center of it all was Matt, wrapped up in a torn sheet. The parts of his body that were visible were covered in scratches and dark blue and purple bruises. The bags under his eyes were intense and the look on his face was filled with regret. Over all, he looked-

“You look like shit,” Bruce said simply. Matt looked down at the ground and pulled the sheet tighter against his body, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“I feel like shit." A pause. "Bruce, I-I should have told you, I'm so-” Matt was cut off by Bruce raising a hand.

“Are you hurt?" Matt just stared at him. "I mean, you're obviously banged up, but are you _hurt_?” Matt shook his head. “Okay. And the rest of us are okay so there's nothing to apologize for.”

“But the room-”

“- is just a room,” Bruce finished for him with an easy smile. “It's just stuff. We can replace stuff. You, on the other hand..."

A shy, almost-smile crept onto Matt's face. Bruce smiled warmly at him before walking over and placing a firm hand on his back to lead him out into the hallway. “Come on, let's find you some clothes. I bet I have some pants that will fit you.”

&

“You're a good man Bruce.”

Bruce set down two plates of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast on the kitchen table before sitting down. Elyse happily pulled her plate closer and dug in, grabbing a piece of toast and nibbling on the corner. From the living room, Bruce could hear Matt snoring away on the couch and if he listened close enough, he swore he could make out the sound of Joel purring.

“It's just breakfast," he scoffed.

“You know what I mean.” Elyse gave Bruce a stern yet meaningful look. Bruce shrugged and blew on his coffee to cool it down before taking a small sip.

“It was nothing.”

“To you, maybe, but to Peake it was everything. Trust me.” Bruce watched as Elyse ate more of her breakfast, coffee cup still in his hand. He wanted to tell her that really, it was no big deal, that anyone would have done the same, but before he could get around to it, Elyse was setting her fork down and looking up at him with the kind of eyes that usually meant trouble.

“So, I've been thinking-”

“Oh no, not that.” Elyse flipped him off and Bruce chuckled into his coffee.

“Come on, I'm trying to be serious for once. Shocking, I know, but I've been thinking and... your apartment is really small. Like it was fine for just you and Joel, sure, but now that Matt's living with you and I-”

“You don't live here,” Bruce scoffed.

“No, but I'm here so often that I might as well. The only time I ever go to my own place it to sleep and get changed but sometimes I don't even do that, I just nap on your couch and borrow your shirts.”

“I knew it.”

“But this place is too small," she continued. "We need to move somewhere bigger... like maybe an actual house?”

Bruce snorted and took a bite of his eggs while waiting for Elyse to laugh or something. But as the silence between them stretched on, he realized that she wasn't joking around. “Holy shit, you're serious.”

“I'm very serious. I have a job so I can help pay, and-and I know Matt would chip in towards rent and utilities and stuff.” Elyse smiled softly and shrugged before eating a piece of bacon. “I dunno, it's just a thought.”

Bruce said nothing. He frowned down at his plate, brows knitted together in thought.

“... I'll have to think about it.”

“That's all I'm asking for. Now, pass me a napkin please?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is going to be on semi-hiatus because my internet at home decided to cause some Serious Problems (TM) and the only internet access I have right now is from work, which I can only really use during my lunch breaks
> 
> I have the next few chapters already written out (and boy, this fic is getting longer than originally planned, oops) and will slowly be publishing them when I can!
> 
> and of course, thank you so much to everyone who's been reading this, you guys rock

“Bruce,” Elyse said as she walked into his room without bothering to knock first, “tell Matt how handsome he looks.”

“Uh,” Bruce said intelligently as he stopped typing and looked up from his laptop with a blank look on his face. “Come again?”

Elyse stood at the end of his bed and motioned to the doorway with a wide sweep of her hands. Bruce followed her hands and arched an eyebrow. The doorway was noticeably Matt free. “I said, tell Matt how- goddammit, where did he go?”

“You're absolutely stunning Peake,” Bruce snorted. With a loud sigh, Elyse held up her finger and asked Bruce to wait a minute before she stomped out of the room. She stepped to the side to avoid walking into Joel, who sauntered into the room with a lopsided, knowing smirk. He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned back on his arms, daintily crossing one leg over the other.

Bruce closed his laptop and nudged Joel's arm with his foot. “Why don't you ever wear any of the real clothes I buy you?” he asked, gently toeing the sleeve of the purple bathrobe Joel seemed to practically live in.

“Because real clothes are itchy and restricting,” he said matter of factly as he looked at Bruce over his shoulder. “Besides, I look damn good in this bathrobe. It'd be a crime if I wore anything else.” Humble as always. Before Bruce could comment about how fucking weird he was, Elyse walked back into the room with Matt in tow. The look on his face plus the iron-like grip she had around his wrist made it clear that he was being dragged against his will.

“Okay, Bruce, now you can tell Matt how handsome he is,” she said casually. Matt fidgeted and raised his free hand to lightly tug on the collar of his shirt- a new, crisp looking dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It took Bruce a moment to tear his gaze away from Matt's biceps and process what Elyse had just said. She gave him a look and Joel snorted from the end of the bed.

“You look good,” Bruce said, giving Matt a reassuring smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. And he meant it too; Matt always looked cute, like a soft, sleepy, cuddly teddy bear man, but when he cleaned up he looked amazing. Matt smiled shyly at Bruce and mumbled a thanks and Bruce swore that he was blushing, just a little and boy, if that didn't make his chest feel tight, the thought that he was the one to cause that-

“He's going on a date tonight,” Joel explained as he slowly ran his eyes over Matt's body, lingering on his thighs and arms. Just like that, the tight feeling in Bruce's chest went from pleasant to uncomfortable. He could feel Elyse looking at him and so he put on his best 'I'm not at all affected by this news' face and nodded at Matt.

Matt, who looked even more uncomfortable now and was noticeably red in the face. “It's not a date...” he said meekly with a shrug as he looked at the floor.

“It is absolutely a date,” Elyse tutted as she finally released his wrist, now confident that he wouldn't try and run away again. “He asked you out for drinks. On a Friday night, just the two of you. Bruce, that's a date, right?”

“Sounds like a date to me,” Bruce said with an even voice. He was proud of himself for that because the thought of Matt going on a date was an unpleasant one and in that moment, he wished he was literally anywhere else so he wouldn't have to have this conversation.

“We're just friends,” Matt said in defense of himself except he didn't sound very confident. “Adam and I have known each other for years and he just moved back into town. We're just going to have a drink or two and catch up. _That's it_.”

Joel snorted. “God, I hope not, otherwise your date is going to suck.” Matt opened his mouth but Elyse spoke before he could.

“Hey, you've never been on a date so how would you know? Maybe that's the perfect date for Matt and Adam.”

“We're not-”

“That's,” Joel interrupted Matt, who huffed and slid his hands into his pockets, “an excellent point.” He sat up a little straighter and smoothed down the fur on his ears before grinning at Elyse. “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Oh my god,” Bruce and Matt groaned at the same time. Elyse looked surprisingly ecstatic.

“Nothing, my schedule is 100% free.”

“Excellent. Wanna get dinner tomorrow night?”

“Joel, I'd be honored,” Elyse said sincerely, resting both of her hands over her heart. Bruce rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief before bringing his focus back on Matt. The other man was looking between Joel and Elyse with a mix of confusion and something akin to satisfaction. _Huh_.

“Date or not,” he said and Matt's eyes flickered to Bruce and no, Bruce's heart did not do a funny leapy thing in his chest, thank you very much, “I hope you have fun tonight.” And he meant that too because Bruce was a Good Friend and he'd support Matt no matter what.

“Thanks.”

“Oh my god, you have to get going!” Elyse all but chirped as she glanced at Bruce's alarm clock. Matt barely had time to react before Elyse was grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the room to fix his hair or something before he left- truthfully, she was talking so fast that Bruce couldn't make out what she was saying. Bruce opened his laptop again and was about to continue working when Joel obnoxiously cleared his throat.

“Please don't cough up a hairball on my bed,” Bruce said without looking up from the screen.

“Oh, you're _hilarious_ ,” Joel said dryly before shifting on the bed. He rolled onto his stomach, tail swishing happily behind him, and reached out to nudge the laptop shut. “You gonna be okay big boy?”

Bruce turned his attention from his laptop to Joel and he was surprised to see genuine concern on his face. He scoffed a beat later, nearly wincing at how obviously fake it was. “Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”

Joel simply hummed and placed his hand reassuringly on Bruce's leg, right above his knee. “You're a terrible liar,” he shook his head in mock disappoint, “and you forget that I know you so well.” Using his hand on Bruce's leg as leverage, Joel pushed himself up and crawled further up the bed to pet Bruce's cheek, his fingertips gently brushing his hairline. “It's okay though, I still love you.”

He pressed a quick and chaste kiss to Bruce's forehead before scampering off the bed to... to do whatever it was that Joel did when he wasn't annoying him or climbing all over Matt and Elyse. Bruce sat there in silence and stared at the door. If he listened closely, he could hear Elyse chattering away in the bathroom and the occasional hum of agreement from Matt.

“I'm fine,” he said softly to himself before pushing his laptop open to continue his work.

&

“That's it,” Elyse said as she paused the movie and pushed herself off the couch. Joel meowed and blinked at her from where he was curled up int Bruce's lap. “I'm calling it: it's Wine Night.”

With an excited meow, Joel leapt off of Bruce- “Hey, watch the claws!”- and darted into the bathroom. In the same moment, Elyse turned and headed towards the kitchen. Bruce didn't move off the couch and just listened as she went through the cabinets. From the bathroom, there was a sharp cracking noise and a moment later, Joel was walking out with a spring in his step as he finished tying off the sash on his bathrobe.

 “About time,” he sighed contentedly as he threw himself onto the couch and wiggled against the cushions to get comfortable. “It's been too long since we've had Wine Night.”

“Joel, we had one last week after you got chased by that dog, remember?”

“Time works differently for us cats so really it was like a month ago.”

Before Bruce could explain that no, that's now how it worked at all, Elyse walked in with three wine glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, a corkscrew hanging from her mouth. She set everything down on the table and situated herself between Joel and Bruce before setting about opening the wine. The cork popped out easily enough and she filled all three glasses nearly to the brim before setting the bottle back on the table. Joel didn't hesitate in grabbing one and handing it to Bruce before getting one from himself.

“Correct me if I'm wrong,” Bruce said as he blinked at his glass before looking at Elyse, “but Wine Nights are usually reserved for shitty days, right? And I'm pretty sure-”

“Oh, this isn't for me,” Elyse gestured to the wine bottle resting on the coffee table before taking a sip of her glass. She licked her lips and leaned back against the couch, holding her glass close to her chest. “This is for you.”

Bruce frowned. “I don't-”

“Matt's on a date tonight,” Elyse said with a shrug as she swirled her wine and Bruce wondered if he'd be able to say anything tonight without getting interrupted. “Which is good for him, of course it is, but I saw the look on your face when you found out. You were upset and you've been moping all night ever since he left.” Bruce frowned and just stared at her. Elyse smiled sheepishly as she added, “and okay, alright, I wasn't too happy about it either, so I guess this is for me too. But mostly you.”

“You seemed jazzed about it earlier,” Bruce shifted in his seat and sipped at his wine. Joel hummed in agreement as he finished his off in a few large gulps before reaching for the bottle to pour himself another glass.

“I was! I mean, I still am, it's cool for him to go out and date and stuff.” Elyse wasn't exactly the most confident person on the planet, Bruce knew this, but she looked shyer than he had ever seen her before. “It's just... he's Matt. _Our_ Matt and I'm... not jealous, no, but envious, maybe. Like, he's allowed to have other friends and hang out with other people, but I dunno,” she paused to take a long drink, “It just feels wrong, somehow.”

Well. Wasn't that interesting. Bruce took a lengthy sip of wine and set his glass on the table. “You like Matt.” A statement, not a question. Bruce watched Elyse as she shrugged one shoulder and nodded a moment later.

“Yeah. I do. I mean, what's not to like? He's super sweet and nice and just- he's the kind of guy who'd give you the shirt off his own back if you needed it. He's just so caring and nice and funny and...” Elyse trailed off with a shake of her head. Joel refilled his glass again when neither of them were looking, clearly a man on a mission. A quiet moment passed before Elyse added on as an after thought, just a whisper, “Yeah, I like him a lot.”

Elyse liked Matt. Oddly enough, Bruce was relieved by this news. He felt like he should have have been upset except... except he wasn't. It might have had something to do with the fact that Bruce was also really into Elyse, but that was a conversation for another time. Tonight, it was about Matt and how they were upset that he was on a date with someone who wasn't one of them. _Them_. An odd thought, but it made Bruce feel all pleasant and warm inside. Or maybe that was just the wine?

“I get it,” he said with a soft smile. Elyse stared at Bruce with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape, but then his words must have sunk in because she was smiling back and him and ah, yes, there was that tight feeling in his chest again. Bruce tried to drown it by taking another sip of his wine but it didn't help at all. “Trust me, I really do.”

“I'm glad we're all on the same page,” Joel said as he scooted closer and practically crawled onto Elyse's lap. They hadn't been drinking for very long but already Joel's face was flushed. He giggled and rested his cheek against Elyse's shoulder, his ears twitching and gently brushing against her jaw and only then did Bruce notice how much of the wine was already gone. “We- We should toast.”

“Yeah?” Bruce laughed.

“Yeah,” Joel lifted his wine glass and was oblivious to the wine that spilled over the edge and onto his hand, dripping onto Elyse's thigh. “To Matt- our hot piece of ass werewolf.”

“To Matt,” the other two said in unison as they lifted their drinks, glasses clinking together.

Of course, Joel waited until Bruce was taking a sip to include, “And to the dream that one day, one or all of us will get the chance to suck his-”

Bruce spit his wine out and Elyse squeaked. Bruce coughed and slammed his fist against his chest, wheezing out a laugh the moment he could breathe again. Elyse's face was beet red as she giggled, lifting a hand to cover her mouth when she let out a snort. Looking like the metaphorical cat who caught the canary, Joel looked between them before pressing a quick, wet kiss to Elyse's cheek.

“That's it, you're cut off,” Bruce laughed as he reached over to grab Joel's glass. With an offended noise, Joel leaned back and held his glass out of reach, stretching his arm over his head as far as he could.

“Noooo,” Joel whined with a dramatic pout as Bruce climbed over Elyse and continued to try to grab the glass. More wine spilled over his hand and splattered on the floor but no one seemed to notice or care. “You are being _so_ unfair right now.”

“Joel, hand it over.”

“Fuck off.”

Elyse yelped and moved her own glass back and out of the way as the two of them struggled and fought across her lap. Bruce grunted as Joel pressed his hand against his face, trying to push him away, but ultimately, Bruce was the bigger and stronger man. He pinned Joel's free hand down with his knee but just when he was about to grab the glass, Joel did the unthinkable. Panicking, he dropped the glass. It hit the floor and shattered, wine starting to already soak into the carpet as small bits of glass glittered in the faint light from the television, movie paused and forgotten about.

Everything was still and then suddenly, Joel was crawling his way out from underneath Bruce and was darting away with a cry that was simultaneously scared and excited. Bruce didn't waste any time and chased after him, banging his knee against the coffee table and swearing under his breath as he almost spilled the wine bottle over.

Elyse sat on the couch and remained still for just a moment before dismissively shaking her head. “Why are my boys such idiots?” she asked herself as she took a drink and reached for the remote to continue watching the movie without them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay between chapters folks, work has been kicking my ass, but here's the next chapter~
> 
> there's some blood at the end but it's for comedic purposes more than anything else tbh

The following morning, Bruce shuffled out of his bedroom with a wince, shielding his eyes from the early morning light that filtered into the living-room through the curtains. His whole body ached and he didn't know what was to blame, the squabble with Joel from the night before that turned into an all out wrestling match or all the wine he drank afterwards in celebration of his victory. Realistically, it was a bit of both, probably.

Shuffling his way through the living-room, past Elyse and Joel, who were tangled up and passed out on the couch, he made his way into the kitchen where his one true love awaited him.

“Oh baby,” Bruce moaned as he reached the coffee machine. He made sure it was plugged it before switching it on with a caress of his fingers. The machine turned on with a faint beep and with a happy little hum, Bruce opened the overhead cabinet and reached for a mug.

“Should I leave you alone?”

Startled by the unexpected voice, Bruce jumped, fingers fumbling with the mug. It slipped through his fingers and landed on the counter with a solid thud. It didn't break or crack, surprisingly enough, but part of the ceramic handle chipped off and skittered off the counter and onto the floor.

“Smooth,” the same, unfamiliar voice said with an amused snort.

“Who are you and why are you in my kitchen?” Bruce asked without any preamble as he turned towards the stranger, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning his hip against the counter. A man was sitting at his kitchen table with a lidded cup of coffee in-front of him and a smirk on his face. Bruce would have liked to have looked threatening in that moment, but it was far too early for that so he had to settle with _slightly disgruntled_ instead.

“I'm Adam,” the man said with a small wave of his hand. "You're Bruce, right?" He reached out for his coffee cup and gave it a quick swirl before taking a lengthy sip of it from the straw. “Matt said I could stop by whenever, so here I am.”

“At seven in the morning?” Bruce asked in disbelief as he grabbed his mug and set it onto the coffee machine. “It's pretty early, don't you think? Besides, if you're here for Matt, he already left for work.”

“Oh, I know. He's the one who let me in.” Of course he did.

Bruce stared at Adam for a moment longer before huffing and turning his attention back to his beautiful, perfect coffee machine. He watched as the coffee dripped into his mug and he tried his best to ignore Adam but it was hard when he could _feel_ the other man looking at him. Neither of them said anything and with each passing second marked by the sound of _drip, drip, drip_ , Bruce felt... not tense, but uneasy.

Bruce cleared his throat and shifted his weight to his other foot. “So, uh, sorry for sounding rude, but why are you still here?” He couldn't see Adam's reaction, if he reacted at all.

_Drip, drip, drip._

“Why not?”

Bruce turned to look at Adam and opened his mouth only to promptly close it a second later. What was he supposed to say to that? Luckily, he was saved from having to reply because the coffee machine beeped twice to let him know that his coffee was done. With a gentle pat to let the machine know that it did a good job, Bruce grabbed his mug and shuffled over to sit at the table across from Adam.

The chair creaked as he sat down and he blew on his coffee before taking a small, tentative sip. It was still scolding hot but he didn't so much as flinch, taste buds nearly burned away completely at this point in his life. It was dark and bitter, stronger than he usually drank, but it would help to wake him up and hopefully fight off the hangover that was already threatening to ruin his entire day. He set his mug down on the table and watched as Adam took another sip from his drink.

“I'd offer you coffee but you seem all set,” Bruce said with a tilt of his chin towards the cup. The straw was tinted but he could see that whatever Adam was drinking was thick. “Is that a smoothie or something?”

Adam hummed and took another deep sip before setting the cup down, tongue darting out to lick across his lower lip. “Or something,” Adam smirked and yeah, it was way too early in the morning for this kind of nonsense.

(Never mind the fact that that cocky smirk on his face was... shit, it was attractive, and Bruce could not be into the guy Matt was dating, that would be so fucked up)

“Are you always like this?” Bruce asked with a scoff, crossing his arms and resting them on the table.

“Like what?”

“Difficult.”

“Usually, yeah, although most people just call me an asshole,” Adam said with a shrug. Bruce chuckled lowly and took another sip of coffee.

“Well, I mean, I didn't want to say it myself...”

“No, yeah, totally.”

Silence fell between them again, but it was more comfortable this time. Bruce leaned back in his chair, cradling his mug to his chest, as Adam looked around the kitchen. His face was impassive, but the set of his eyebrows and mouth made him look like he was faintly pissed off.

“... why is part of your kitchen ceiling painted orange?”

“It's a long story.”

“Is it a good one?”

“Not really.”

Bruce watched as Adam took another sip of his drink, swirling the straw around to mix it up more. “How do you know Matt?” he asked.

“We met at a bar, like...” a pause as he thought about it, arms coming up to rest on the table and Bruce noticed a tattoo wrapping around Adam's left bicep- Latin, maybe, but he couldn't read it from where he was sitting, “ten years ago? Maybe it was nine or eleven, I dunno.”

“Sounds fun,” Bruce said dryly.

“If getting punched in the face by a werewolf is your idea of fun then yeah, sure it was,” Adam said with a snort.

Bruce chocked on his coffee. Some of it dribbled out of the corner of his mouth as he thumped his fist against his chest. While he took a few moments to get his breath back, Adam just watched him, blinking sluggishly.

“Wait, hold on,” Bruce said, voice cracking as he reached for a napkin to wipe his mouth, “Matt? You're saying that Matt Peake punched you in the face?”

“Yep,” Adam said, popping the 'p' and snorting yet again at the astonished look on Bruce's face. “Shocking, I know-”

“It's unbelievable. I literally don't believe it. Matt is- that's not him, he doesn't just _do_ that.”

“Well, I mean, I totally deserved it,” Adam said and at least he had the courtesy to look a little ashamed, “I was being a mouthy bastard and shit, I don't know, I wanted to get into a fight. It was a weird time in my life, I... did a lot of stupid things. So I saw him, walked across the bar, said some nasty things and then I ended up on my ass with a broken nose and a grin on my face.”

“... that's fucked up.”

“Super fucked up,” Adam nodded in agreement, eyes not quite meeting Bruce's, “but again, I was in this... this weird place in my life. Believe it or not, picking fights with werewolves in smoky, seedy bars doesn't even top the list of the dumb shit I've done.”

“So you knew he was a werewolf?” Which meant that Adam wasn't human- not that Bruce really cared what he was.

“Duh. Why else would I pick Matt? You've seen him, he's all...” Adam waved his hand as if that explained everything. “He's _Matt_. He's a total sweetheart, he's fluffy and cute, but let me tell ya, he has a mean right hook.”

Another stretch of silence fell between them. Bruce stared at his coffee, watching as the steam curled in the air before disappearing completely. Adam took another sip of his drink and Bruce could actually hear it sloshing inside of the cup as Adam set it back onto the table.

“But yeah. Matt punched me in the face and I kept egging him on to do it again because I was a fucking idiot-”

“Clearly.”

“-and hell, most people would have done it. I know for a fact, from personal experience, that pretty much anyone else would have hit me again. But not Matt. He helped me off the ground and led me outside, into the alley behind the bar and I thought for sure that he was taking me out there to really kick my ass, to really make a mess out of me, but instead he just... he walked me to his car and drove me down the street to this small hole-in-the-wall diner. I don't think we even ordered anything, all we did was talk.”

Now that sounded more like the Matt he knew. “And then...?”

“That's it. We exchanged numbers, he drove me home and we've been friends ever since,” Adam said as if it was just that simple. Bruce felt like there was more to it, there had to have been, but he didn't want to pry and upset Adam, not if he used to be the kind of guy who purposefully pissed off werewolves just to-

Wait.

Friends. Adam said _friends_.

“Last night, it- it wasn't a _date_ then?”

Adam laughed. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he hunched in on himself, laughing as if Bruce had just said the funniest thing he had ever heard. “Dating? Matt and I? No, god no, Matt and I we- just friends. Really good friends, best friends even, but we're, I... oh my god, you're gonna kill me Bruce.”

Bruce huffed and waited for Adam to calm down. “Alright, alright, come on now-”

“I need to tell Matt about this,” Adam was still chuckling as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

“No. Oh, no, do not- Adam, come on just- stop, put the phone down,” Bruce stammered, voice wavering because Adam wasn't listening. He was grinning and typing away at his phone and any nice or positive thoughts Bruce had about Adam were all gone. Poof, they vanished, because Adam really was an asshole.

“Don't-”

“Why does it matter?” Adam asked without looking up from his phone. “He doesn't realize you're into him. If anything, it'll just make him laugh.”

Bruce opened his mouth but no sound came out. He wasn't even sure how they got to this point. “I- you... how did you-”

“Elyse and Joel were awake when I walked in. We talked.”

This was it. This was the end of Bruce. He had always assumed he'd die from a spell gone wrong or a potion disaster, not from embarrassment caused by his so called friends.

He liked to think of himself as a fairly level-headed guy, which is why Bruce surprised himself when he leaned over the table to reach out and slap Adam's phone from his hands. Or at least, that's what he was trying to do. Adam moved his hands back just in time, and so instead of slapping his phone, Bruce slammed his hand down on Adam's drink.

The cup crumbled under his hand and coffee splashed out and flew everywhere.

Except it wasn't coffee.

Bruce blinked and slowly looked down at his hand. It was resting in a pool of lukewarm blood. Blood that he had just splattered all over the table, the walls, his face and Adam.

Adam, who looked like he was either trying to stop himself from laughing or stop himself from leaning over the table and ripping Bruce's throat out. Bruce sincerely hoped it was the former.

“Well,” Bruce said as he lifted his hand out of the blood puddle, face scrunching up as it made an unpleasant squelching sound, “this is... yikes.” He looked at his hand and watched as droplets of blood dripped onto the table. It was disgusting, really. Not just because it was blood- thank god Bruce wasn't squeamish- but because it was still so _warm_.

“Dragon blood?” Bruce asked conversationally.

“Cow blood. There's a heating rune at the bottom of the cup.” A pause. “Or, well, there was.”

“Huh.” The room was quiet and Bruce was oh so grateful for the fact that Elyse and Joel were still sleeping.

“... you can take a shower if you want, I might have some clothes that will fit you.”

“Thanks.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise, I didn't forget about this fic. life got in the way, as life does, but now here I am!! with a new chapter!!! going forward, chapters will be published every few days~
> 
> tags have been updated (this wasn't supposed to be a slow burn fic yet here we are) and cr1tikal makes a guest appearance

With a frustrated groan, Bruce reclined back in his seat, hands scrubbing at his face. All morning long he had been working on editing footage for a news segment- a report about how using fairy blood for transfusions had long term health benefits- and just when he was about to save, the program crashed and he lost everything. It would have been fine if it only happened once but this was the _fourth fucking time_. He was tempted to punch his computer screen at this point. The only thing holding him back was the knowledge that the news station would take the damages out of his paycheck.

“You okay there princess?”

“No, Charlie,” Bruce said from behind his hands, “I am not okay.”

He sighed heavily and slowly slid his hands down his face before turning in his chair to face his co-editor. "You're back early today."

"The guy blew his load five minutes in," Charlie explained as he shrugged off his backpack and slid into his chair, wheels squeaking quietly as he slid closer to his work station. "Didn't see the point in hanging out once I got my fill."

"Yeah, but you still have like, what, 30 minutes left in your lunch break? You could have fucked around for a bit before coming back here." A pause. "No pun intended."

Charlie simply snorted as he pulled his headphones on and turned to face his monitor. Bruce shook his head in disbelief as he slowly turned back to his work. If he was an incubus, he would have taken full advantage of the extended lunch break, although if he was being honest, it would be less about the sex and more about the possibility of taking an hour long nap every afternoon.

Bruce watched as the editing program slowly booted up again and a pop-up message flashed across the screen to tell him that an error report was being sent to the publishers. He exhaled slowly and leaned back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose to alleviate the headache that was starting right behind his eyes.

"Technical difficulties?"

"Keeps crashing right before I get the chance to save," he replied without looking away from his screen. "Any issues on your end?"

"Nope. Smooth snailing over here."

"... Sailing. It's smooth sailing."

"But I'm not a sailor."

"I- Yeah, okay, fair enough," Bruce chuckled with a fond shake of his head. Charlie looked over at him and winked playfully before turning back to his computer.

A comfortable silence stretched between them as they worked. The editing program had finally re-launched and Bruce obsessively saved the video file every five minutes. Working this way was slower but at least he was actually making progress this time, and at least he already knew how he wanted the video and audio clips to come together.

Two hours passed and he was so damn close to finishing the segment. All he had to do was add one final shot of the medical facility and double check that the audio synced with the video throughout the whole thing and then voila, he was done and could head home for the day.

So naturally, his phone went off.

"Is that The Skatalites? You're such a nerd."

"Shut up Charlie," Bruce said without any heat as he leaned over to grab his phone. "Knowing who they are makes you a nerd too."

His friends knew better than to call him at work unless it was an emergency. Chances were it was nothing, probably just Joel calling to cry about how they ran out of milk, but he couldn't help the anxiety that flared low in his gut. Especially when he saw that it was Adam calling. Adam never called.

"What's up?" he asked, aiming for casual as he answered the phone.

There was a lot of background noise on the other end and Bruce could feel the color drain from his face when he heard the distinct sound of police sirens. "Bruce?" Adam asked loudly to be heard over the noise.

"Adam, what's going on? Where are you?"

"You need to come home right now. There's been an accident-"

"An accident?" Bruce straightened up in his chair. Charlie stopped working and turned to look at him, mouthing 'what's going on?' to which Bruce responded with a shrug. "Is everyone okay?"

Adam hesitated and that alone answered Bruce's question. "... yeah, we're fine, but-"

"Yeah, okay, I-I'm on my way," Bruce said as he stood up and started to shove his things into his bag. "Hey, stay on the-" the other end went silent as Adam hung up, "- phone. _Shit_."

"What happened?" Charlie asked as he stood up and walked over to help Bruce, whose hands were shaking too badly to zip his backpack up.

"I'm not sure but it sounded pretty serious."

"I'll finish that for ya," Charlie jutted his head towards Bruce's computer, "don't worry about it."

"You sure?" Bruce asked and his co-worker simply blinked at him in response.

"Thanks man, I owe ya one."

"I accept favors in the forms of handjobs and blowjobs. Or cash." It was the deadpan way he said it that made Bruce smile through the sheer panic that was racing through his body. With a final nod, Bruce left their office and practically ran out of the building.

&

Bruce felt like everything was in slow motion as he climbed out of his car.

The apartment building was on fire. A large plume of black smoke billowed out from a few windows on the fourth floor, another from the fifth. Police officers were instructing the crowd to stay back as another firetruck pulled up to the entrance of the building. The fire brigade leapt out and started unfurling the hose on the side of the truck, but Bruce's eyes were quickly drawn again to the windows. It was hard to tell for sure, but it looked like it was coming from-

"Bruce!"

Bruce whipped his head around to see Matt pushing his way through the gathering crowd. He shouted his name again, voice cracking at the strain of trying to be heard over the sirens. Bruce started to move towards him, panic and fear making his heart race erratically in his chest. The moment they were close enough, Bruce pulled Matt into in a hug, holding him close to his chest. A sensation of relief swept over him as he exhaled slowly.

The other man said nothing, just hugged him back hard enough to hurt.

"I came as soon as Adam called," Bruce said as he buried his head into the crook between Matt's neck and shoulder. His shirt smelled like smoke. "Is-" he paused, throat tight with emotion. "Where are the others?"

"It's okay, we're fine, we're safe," Matt said quietly and Bruce hugged him tighter when he heard his voice waver towards the end. The other man inhaled shakily, his hands curling tighter into the fabric of Bruce's shirt as he regained his composure. "The paramedics-"

"Take me to them."

Both were reluctant to let go but after another few seconds of hugging- _he's okay, he's safe, Matt's safe_ \- they pulled apart. Matt grabbed Bruce's hand and started to pull him along as he pushed his way back through the crowd. Bruce swallowed down his panic and tried to keep breathing evenly. Breathing was good, it was important, it would help level his head and prevent him from having a panic attack because of the fire and Matt had said the others were near the paramedics and oh god, that meant someone must have been hurt, _fuck_ -

They reached the ambulance and Bruce's hand fell from Matt's.

Elyse was sitting on the edge of the ambulance, her feet brushing against the ground, a shock blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a black bundle in her lap. She was perfectly still, her eyes glazed over as she stared at the parking lot with an empty look on her face. The black bundle meowed quietly and Joel raised his head to lick her cheek. She didn't respond.

Adam was standing next to them, leaning against the ambulance door with his arms crossed over his chest. He was watching Elyse carefully but he looked up when Matt and Bruce drew closer.

"Bruce," Adam sighed. At the sound of his name, Elyse startled and snapped her eyes to him. Her lower lip trembled as her shoulders started to shake.

"Hey, shh, it's alright," Bruce's tone was as calming as it could be as he walked over and sat down next to her. Elyse rested her head against his shoulder as she started to openly sob. Her cheeks were smudged with ash and some of her hair was singed but otherwise she seemed okay. Bruce wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in close, ducking his head to press a kiss to her temple. His lips lingered against her skin as he tightly shut his eyes, trying to stop himself from crying. Elyse was okay. They were all okay and he was so fucking grateful.

"I-I-I'm so s-sorry," Elyse cried. She sniffled and raised a hand to angrily wipe her cheek. "I-It's my fault- the f-fire, I- the- _your apartment_ -"

Another meow from Joel interrupted her and sent her further into hysterics. The cat pawed at her collarbone and nudged the top of his head against her chin reassuringly. Bruce noticed that a patch of fur was missing from his tail.

"She..." Adam started to explain but he trailed off. His brow was furrowed as he thought about the best way to continue. "Elyse lost control."

"It was an accident," Matt said firmly as he looked directly at Elyse. Her head was still turned against Bruce as she hiccuped between sobs.

"And accidents happen," Adam said with a nod of his head. "It spread quickly, as magic fire does, and by the time we realized what was going on..."

"It was too late," Bruce finished. He idly rubbed Elyse's arm and pressed a feather light kiss against the top of her head.

"I-It's okay if... if y-you're mad at m-m-me."

"Fuck, Elyse, no, I'm not mad at you. It's unfortunate but- hey, come on-" Bruce kept his voice soft and even as he gently pressed his hand against the bottom of her chin to make her look up at him. She peered up at him through tear streaked lashes and he smiled encouragingly. "It's just... stuff. We can go out and buy more stuff and we can go out and find a new place to live. It's all- it's not important. _You're_ important. Right now I'm just so fucking glad that you're safe and okay. Accidents happen, just like Adam said. It's okay. _We're_ okay."

Elyse looked at Bruce. Bruce looked at Elyse. He forgot about the sirens and the noise, forgot about the crowded parking lot and the firefighters that were still trying to put out the fire. In that moment, his whole world was narrowed down to just her. He leaned in closer and rested his forehead against hers.

"We're okay," he repeated with a whisper. Her face was red and splotchy and her cheeks were stained with a mix of ash and tears and her breath was coming in short little stutters but god, Bruce's chest physically ached with the need to lean in and _kiss_ her.

Joel meowed and just like that, the moment was shattered.

"There's a motel just down the street. We can stay there for the time being," Matt offered quietly. Bruce blinked and leaned back to put some space between Elyse and himself. She looked like she wanted to say something but thought better of it, the corner of her mouth twitching.

Adam pushed off of the ambulance and held his hand out for her. "Come on, let's get you to the car," he said with a nod of his head towards the other end of the parking lot. She nodded and waited until Joel moved off of her lap before standing up on shaky legs. As Adam led her away, she looked over her shoulder to stare at Bruce with wide, almost questioning eyes. Bruce met her gaze for only a moment before looking down at the pavement. Her eyes were just- they were too intense and it made his skin crawl in the best way possible.

Matt didn't say a word. He stood there for a moment, forehead creased in thought, before shuffling off after Adam and Elyse.

Without waiting for an invitation, Joel hopped onto Bruce's lap. Bruce looked down at his familiar and lightly scratched behind his ear, smiling when Joel purred and leaned up into the touch.

"I didn't forget about you buddy, don't worry... You okay?" A short meow in reply. "Yeah, I thought so."

One of the officers spoke into a megaphone and gave instructions to the crowd but he was too far away to be heard clearly. Bruce looked around the parking lot before his gaze traveled to the smoke that was still wafting from the building, the thick, dark clouds standing in stark contrast against the otherwise clear blue sky. His apartment was destroyed. Everything he had owned was gone. His furniture, his movies, his photo albums, his potion making supplies. The kitchen Matt had worked so hard to fix was now up in smoke.

Bruce found that he didn't care as much as he probably should have.

"Hey, what are your thoughts on getting a house?"


	7. Chapter 7

The five of the were cooped up in a motel room for the time being. The lights would flicker whenever a car drove down the road, the tv antenna only picked up the shopping network and the front door knob was perpetually jammed, meaning they had to slam their shoulders into the door to open it whenever they wanted to enter or leave the room. It wasn't ideal, not by a long shot, but at least it had running water and although they had just one full sized bed between the five of them, it was thankfully bed-bug free.

And as cliche as it sounded, at least they were together. Miserable and tired, sure, but together nonetheless.

"It needs a basement," Matt said softly. He was tucked into the corner of the couch, sitting opposite of Bruce with his knees drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs. "Or a backyard with space for a shed, I'm not picky. I just need somewhere safe for when I..." he trailed off with a slight frown, pulling the sleeves of his sweater further over his hands.

Bruce nodded and clicked his pen as he opened up the small notepad they had found in one of the bedside drawers. He stretched it across his thigh and wrote down what Matt suggested before looking back up at the others. "Alright, a wolf-proof room is added to the list. Next?"

"It needs to be away from people or at least somewhat secluded," Joel said as he stretched across the bed, his tail flicking lazily in the air. "People will freak if they see me and I refuse to be a cat all the time." Bruce hummed and added it to the list while Joel idly tapped his chin in thought. "Maybe even near the woods somewhere? That way Matt's, uh, monthly noises won't seem so strange?"

"The woods is good," Adam agreed from where he was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, his back leaning against the mattress. "I need shade, especially since it'll be awhile before I can get this touched up," he said as he raised his arm. The protective anti-sun runes that were tattooed around his bicep were looking faint. Bruce guessed that maybe Adam had a few hours of use left in them before they faded away entirely.

"Lots of shade..." Bruce muttered as he added it to the list.

"But it can't be too woodsy. That's a fire hazard," Elyse said with a finger pointed at Bruce. Bruce pointed his finger back at her and added a note to avoid dense forests while Elyse leaned back and used Joel as a makeshift pillow. "And although I like the idea of being away from people, we shouldn't live too far away from the center of town. Possible emergencies aside, I don't want to be too far from work."

"And we can't forget about the most important bit," Matt said, "we need a place big enough for the five of us."

"I want my own room," Joel interjected.

"No," Bruce said with finality as he shook his head and circled Matt's point. "You don't need it."

"But I _want_ it," Joel pouted. Elyse reached a hand out and gently scratched behind his ears. His eyes slowly drifted shut and the room was filled with the sound of his purring as it rumbled deep within his chest.

"Finding a place that has all this," Bruce tapped the notepad with the end of his pen for emphasis, "is going to be hard enough as it is, so let's keep this list down to what we _need_."

"It's impossible," Adam sighed, leaning his head back against the mattress as he stared up at the ceiling. "Even with the insurance money you got from the fire, we won't be able to afford a place that fits all of our needs. The housing market sucks right now."

"Aren't you a vampire? Don't you have, like, hundreds of millions of dollars stashed away somewhere?" Elyse asked.

Adam snorted. "I'm not a stereotype, thank you very much- and just how old do you think I am?"

"You're well over a hundred, making you the oldest one here," Matt chimed in.

"Yeah, but in vampire years that makes me a toddler. More or less. But the point is that I don't have 'hundreds of millions of dollars' stashed away. Last time I checked, I think I have several hundred in my bank account, maybe even a few thousand, but that's it."

"What if we rent instead of buy?" Bruce asked as he rubbed his temple with the pads of his fingers.

"Not likely. Lots of people still have prejudices against vampires and... my kind. Finding someone who'd be willing to rent to just one of us alone would be hard enough," Matt said with a glance over to Adam. Adam hummed in thought.

"Maybe the two of us should live somewhere else-"

"No," Elyse said loudly as she pushed herself up off of Joel and looked at Adam with a fierce shake of her head. "Don't- How can you even suggest something like that? It's out of the question."

"But it _would_ be easier for all of us, and we might have to start focusing on what we have to do, not what we want to do," Adam countered.

"I don't care if it's easier or not. It's not happening. Bruce?"

"It's not happening, Adam," Bruce repeated. "You're stuck with us."

Adam shrugged but Bruce could see the small, relieved smile that crept onto his face.

The idea of separating their rag-tag group wasn't something Bruce even wanted to think about. It had only been a few months since Elyse had given him Matt's number but he couldn't imagine life going back to the way things were before when it was just him and Joel. It scared him, the idea of waking up to find no one hanging around in the kitchen, the thought of coming home to a quiet and empty apartment. Bruce looked over at Joel and their eyes met for just a moment, but he knew that his familiar was thinking the exact same thing.

"We should start looking as soon as possible then," Matt said with a soft little exhale. "We're only wasting money by renting this room every night and we've already been here for a week."

Bruce looked over the list they had collectively came up with. House hunting was hard, but when you had to take the needs of five very different people into consideration, people who weren't even apart of the same species, it was nearly impossible, Bruce realized.

 _We're fucked_.

"Tomorrow, Adam and I can follow up on the online listings Elyse found earlier this morning. None of them have exactly what we're looking for," he raised the notepad with a flick of his wrist, "but it's a start?" He looked around the room and was met with four agreeing nods.

"Awesome. Now that that's out of the way, what should we do for dinner?"

&

The car came to a sudden stop and Bruce looked up from the Jinn's List page he had open on his phone. He and Adam were supposed to be driving into the center of town to check out a duplex listing they had found earlier that morning over breakfast. Instead, they were now parked in-front of a quaint looking house in a quiet neighborhood that Bruce had never been to before. Just as he was about to ask Adam why they were here, he saw the sign in the front yard.

"FOR SALE!!" it read in thick black letters. A phone number and e-mail address were written underneath. What caught Bruce's attention was the fact that the sign wasn't a proper sign from a real estate office, but that it was nothing more than half a pizza box taped to a stick and shoved into the ground.

Adam climbed out of the car and Bruce followed, taking a picture of both the sign and the front of the house with his cellphone. The paint on the house- it looked blue to Bruce, but he was sure that the proper name was really "robin egg shell" or "sea-breeze" or "urinal cake blue"- was faded and chipped in some places. A white picket fence must have stretched out across the whole front yard at one point, but only a small, dilapidated portion remained by the mailbox.

Bruce toed the shriveled remains of a bush while Adam walked up the driveway and towards the front windows. He cupped his hands around his eyes and leaned his head against the glass.

"See anything?' Bruce asked.

"The carpet needs to be replaced," Adam replied without moving away from the window, his voice muffled by the glass, "and it looks like someone got angry and punched a hole in the wall." He shifted from foot to foot and pressed his forehead harder against the window. "I think I see a fireplace though, that's kinda neat."

Bruce walked over to the front door and tried the door knob. It was locked. _Duh_.

"Shit, I wish we could get inside," he frowned as he stepped back and looked over at Adam, who was now peering in through the garage windows. "I want to check the rest of the place out before we call the owner."

Adam wiped his hands against his thighs as he walked over and jutted his chin towards the door.

"Let me try."

"Dude, it's locked."

"Dude, let me try. Maybe it just needs a little... force behind it."

"Adam, no, we are not breaking in."

"It's only breaking in if you _break_ something to get _in_. I'm just going to jostle the door a little."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Bruce mumbled with a shake of his head as he took another step back away from the door to make room for Adam.

Adam stared at the door for a moment before reaching into the front pocket of his jeans. After a few seconds of searching, he pulled out a small handful of paper-clips and he held them up to Bruce with a small smirk before sinking to his knees.

Realizing that he was going to attempt to pick the lock, Bruce stood a little straighter and casually glanced across the yard, eyes scanning the street for anyone who could see them.

"Don't make it so obvious," Adam snorted as he started to fiddle with the paperclips and re-bend them into a shape he could work with.

"Just hurry up and unlock the damn thing," Bruce said as he shoved his hands into his pockets and watched as Adam shifted closer to the door. The other man had a look of deep concentration on his face as he slide the first paperclip into the keyhole and leaned his shoulder against the door for support.

The door, which creaked open slightly from the contact.

The two of them blinked at the now partially opened door.

"Adam, I swear..." Bruce trailed off, finding himself at a loss for words. "The door was locked. It wasn't jammed or- it was _locked_."

Adam simply hummed, looking up at Bruce with an arched eyebrow as he shoved the paperclips back into his pockets and stood up. "If you wanted me on my knees, all you had to do was ask," he smiled, clasping a hand on Bruce's shoulder before walking inside.

Bruce stood there for a long moment with his mouth slightly agape. Why was this his life? Why did all of his friends have to flirt with him and make everything that much more confusing? He was a good person, he didn't think he deserved this kind of torment.

It was chilly inside, he noticed as he stepped into the house. He pulled his jacket closer around himself as he looked around the living room. The carpet was stained and torn up near the sides of the room and there was indeed a fist-shaped hole in the wall, but the rest of the room seemed okay. From deeper in the house, he could hear Adam meddling about, opening up various doors and cabinets from the sounds of it.

Bruce could almost see his breath as he walked down the small hallway to his right. There were four doors and he opened them to find, in order, a bedroom, a small closet, another bedroom and the bathroom. Like the living-room, they were all empty and cold. Bruce rubbed his hands together as he looked around one of the bedrooms, taking in the hardwood floors and white walls that could use another paint job.

"There's a pantry in the kitchen," Adam said as he walked into the hallway behind Bruce, "and there's more counter space here than in our old place."

( _Our old place_. Adam had only been with them for a handful of weeks before the apartment burned down, but it warmed Bruce's heart to hear him call it theirs all the same.)

"Only two bedrooms," Bruce said with a jerk of his thumb over his shoulder. "Which isn't really an improvement on the old place." His apartment had had two bedrooms, which was fine when it was just him, Joel and Matt. But now Elyse was officially moving in and with Adam now apart of the family, two bedrooms just wouldn't cut it.

It was a cute house with a lot of potential. It just wasn't for them.

"You didn't mention an attic," Adam said and Bruce followed his eyes up to the ceiling. Straight above them was a small hatch with a metal cord that gently swayed back and forth.

"There has to be a draft or something," Bruce mused aloud as he stepped back so Adam could reach up to yank on the cord. The hatch opened and a wooden ladder descended with a solid _thump_ and a cloud of dust fell from the rungs and settled onto the ground.

"Why, is it cold in here?" Adam asked as he started to climb up the ladder, Bruce following up right behind him.

"Yeah. You hadn't noticed?"

"Vampire, remember? I don't really notice temperature changes."

The attic was dirty but spacious. The floorboards creaked as Adam pulled himself up and brushed the dust off his hands against his jeans. Bruce remained on the ladder and rested his folded arms on the floor, nose scrunching up at how musty and stale the air was.

The floorboards creaked again as Adam walked around the attic, feet kicking up small clouds of dust with every step. "We could probably turn this into another bedroom," Adam said as he walked over to the side of the attic where the ceiling started to slope down. "Maybe even two if we got creative."

The floor made an ominous noise beneath him.

"Hey, be careful," Bruce warned him.

"Matt could do it in a weekend I bet," Adam ignored Bruce as he crossed the room.

Bruce hummed in thought and propped his chin against his hand, watching as dust motes swirled and settled back to the ground. Matt probably could turn the attic into a bedroom or two. The ladder was in the middle of the hallway, which was a tad inconvenient, but maybe they could turn the hallway closet into a small staircase instead...

"We need to talk to the others before we get too attached," he pointed out but he knew that it was too late. He could already see the five of them making this place their home and it was obvious from the soft, gentle look on Adam's face that he was thinking along the same lines.

"Of course," Adam replied with a curt nod of his head as he walked back towards Bruce, the floor groaning beneath him once again. "Let's call that number and find out how much-"

With one final groan of protest, the floor gave out underneath Adam. Bruce startled at the noise and quickly climbed down the ladder, squinting through the cloud of dust that had risen into the air from the minor collapse.

Amidst a pile of debris composed of floorboards, insulation and a few scattered nails, Adam laid on the floor, his whole body covered in a fine dust as he stared up at the now gaping hole in the ceiling.

"I feel like an 'I told you so' is warranted here," Bruce said as he hopped off the ladder and walked over to extend a hand to Adam. The other man gladly took his hand and Bruce pulled him up, settling a hand on his lower back to steady him. Adam coughed and shook his head, bits of sawdust falling from his hair.

"You okay bud?"

"Never been better," Adam smiled, looking up at the ceiling before turning his attention back to Bruce. "We can negotiate a lower price 'cause of this. Maybe we can even threaten a lawsuit?"

"Ya know, I really don't think that'll work."

"Just leave it to me."


	8. Chapter 8

Bruce forgot just how much he hated moving.

The front yard was covered in junk, a mix of stuff that hadn't been in the apartment at the time of the fire and things his friends had either bought or found.

Adam and Charlie carried a crouch across the lawn while Elyse scooped up one of the many boxes laying around, a medium-sized white box labeled 'kitchen', before darting back inside. Matt was steadily unloading even more boxes and various pieces of smaller furniture from the back of the rental truck parked along the curb.

Setting down the small yet heavy shelving unit he had been carrying, Bruce wiped the back of his hand across his brow and took a moment to catch his breath while Adam and Charlie shifted and turned the couch to figure out the best way to get it through the door.

"Mrow."

"You know, this would go a little bit faster if you helped out," Bruce said with a fond smile as he looked down at Joel. The cat blinked up at him and rubbed his cheek against his shin before winding around his legs with a grumbling sort of noise.

"Don't you know any spells that would make this easier?" Adam asked, taking a step back so he and Charlie could flip the couch upside down to see if it would fit better that way. Joel narrowly avoided being stepped on and hissed a warning at Adam before scampering across the yard.

"I could try and shrink the couch," Bruce said with a half-hearted shrug, "but there's no guarantee that I'll be able to make it normal sized again. Classic spellwork isn't really my thing, I'm better with potions and charms."

"Bullshit," Adam covered with a fake cough and looked at Charlie, "he blew up his own kitchen brewing something or other, don't trust anything he gives you."

"You're a shitty wizard," Charlie said with a shake of his head as they slowly started to ease the couch into the house.

"Careful, he might turn you into a toad," Adam deadpanned.

"Ha ha ha, you guys are hilarious," Bruce said dryly as the two of them successfully brought the couch fully into the house. Elyse hopped back out and grabbed another box and Bruce waited until she was back inside before picking the shelf back up. He gave Charlie and Adam a wide berth as they tried to figure out where the couch should go and set the shelf leaning against the wall before heading back outside.

By the time the sun had set and the sky had started to darken, everything had been moved off the lawn and into the house and the truck had been returned by Charlie, who had left shortly before the pizza arrived with a promise to stay for dinner another night. The house was a cluttered mess of cardboard boxes, packing tape, crumpled up newspapers and furniture that had yet to find a proper home.

The five of them sat in the middle of the living-room floor, surrounded by boxes labeled 'books' and 'spare blankets', eating their pizza off of cheap plastic plates.

"I'm tellin' ta," Joel said with a hand over his heart and a serious look on his face,"this place was built over an Indian burial ground."

"The proper term is Native American," Matt corrected softly as Elyse leaned over to steal a mushroom off of his pizza.

"Whatever, the point is, we're sitting on a graveyard right now. That's why this place was so cheap." And cheap it was. The owner- a gremlin with sweaty hands, long pointed ears and a single black tuft of hair- had practically given them the house for free, especially after Adam brought up the fact that he fell through the ceiling and could have seriously gotten hurt. The man hadn't even questioned how they got into the house, just went on ahead with the required paperwork and a rushed apology.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Bruce said with a barely concealed laugh.

"Oh, but I do! I'm part cat, which means I'm attuned to all things spooky and occult-"

"That is- that's just _wrong_ -"

"Termites," Matt interrupted with a slow but sure nod of his head. "I'm guessing that it's termites. Once they move in, it's hard to get them out and they make it practically impossible to sell." At the mention of potential bugs, Joel lifted his place off the floor and looked accusingly at the hole in the wall they had yet to fix. Elyse took the opportunity to grab a piece of pepperoni off of his plate as well.

"Nah. I think the guy just had it for awhile and was finally glad to get rid of it," Adam said and although that made the most sense, Bruce thought Matt might be on to something with the termite thing. The house needed a lot of work, more than he had realized when they had first checked the place out, and if there really were bugs eating away at the internal structure, it would explain why the floorboards had been too weak to support Adam's weight.

"Maybe it's both," Elyse shrugged and then, leaning towards Joel, "maybe it's a termite burial ground." Joel laughed around a mouthful of pizza and nearly choked.

"I don't care why it was so cheap, I'm just glad it was," Bruce said earnestly. "So, a toast," he reached over and grabbed his beer bottle, raising it up over the space between them all. "To Adam."

"Oh no, what did I do?" Adam said as he held his own styrofoam cup to his chest. Bruce snorted and bumped him with his shoulder.

"Not only did you find the place, but it was mostly your money that went into it-"

"I told you, it's not a big deal."

"No, it really is," Matt smiled across from the circle as he raised his bottle to join Bruce's, "We could still be in that awful motel room right now, but we're not. We're here."

"We're _home_ ," Elyse corrected. A moment of silence settled over them, warm and comfortable like a familiar blanket, and Bruce felt his heart swell behind his rib-cage.

"To family," Bruce said, raising his bottle just a little bit higher as he looked around the circle. They all wore mirroring smiles and Joel looked like he might have even been tearing up a little. Elyse and Joel raised their bottles and a moment later, Adam raised his too and the sounds of clinking glass and sloshing liquids filled up the living room.

"To family."

&

In the excitement of getting everything moved into the house, sleeping arrangements had been pushed to the back of everyone's minds. Until Matt got around to fixing up the attic, it was a 'first come, first serve' basis as to who slept where, which is how that night, Bruce found himself sharing a bed with Matt. A bed, which was really just a mattress laid out on the ground with an assortment of pillows and blankets thrown on top.

Bruce had been sleeping peacefully, the two of them falling asleep almost as soon as their heads hit the pillows, both exhausted and sore from the move, when a sharp tug of his shirt paired with someone calling his name woke him up. As he slowly came to, Bruce frowned and blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

"Bruce!"

"Elyse?" he asked, voice bleary from sleep, as he squinted through the darkness. "What's- what time is it?"

"I can't sleep," she whispered. The floor creaked as Matt shifted around on the mattress behind him and pulled the blankets closer to himself.

"Huh?"

"I can't sleep," Elyse repeated and now that his eyes were adjusting, he could see that she was crouched by the side of the mattress, her fingers curled around his shirt sleeve."There's all sorts of weird noises."

"It's just the house settling," Bruce reassured her gently. Elyse shook her head and looked over her shoulder towards the doorway.

"No, it's- the noises are _weird_ , like... like _whispering_."

Bruce frowned. It was an older house, meaning it was just the wind or a chipmunk moving around between the walls or maybe even the potential-termites, but whatever it was, it was clearly stressing her out and that just wouldn't do. Wiggling back closer to Matt (who snored lightly before falling silent once again), Bruce held up the blanket and patted the newly available space in bed. "C'mere."

Elyse wasted no time and climbed into the bed, curling up right next to him. Bruce wrapped an arm loose around her and snaked his other hand under his pillow to support his head. Slowly, as if she was unsure if she was allowed to or not, Elyse shifted closer to Bruce until her head was tucked underneath his chin. Her nose was cold against his collarbone and he repressed a shiver, his arm tightening and pulling her in until they were more fully pressed together.

"Thank you," Elyse whispered softly, her breath warming his skin. Bruce hummed and shifted his arm, his hand splaying out against the middle of her back.

Laying like this, with only the thin fabric of their clothes separating them, Bruce felt far more open and vulnerable than he had in a long, long time. It was unfamiliar, but it felt _right_ , he realized with a shocking clarity that usually evaded him this late into the night. It felt like, like-

Like how it felt right to share a bed with Matt, how natural it was for the two of them to playfully bicker over who got which side of the bed. Or how it felt whenever Adam handed him his coffee in the morning before he went to work, prepared just how he liked it. _Right_ , like the way Joel would curl up in his lap during movie night and would hide his laughter against the crook of his neck, or how Elyse would insist that they all hold hands when crossing the street, just in case.

Bruce had fallen in love with his friends and fuck, when had that happened? He couldn't pinpoint the moment when his heart had decided that these people were the ones meant for him, but it had happened nonetheless.

 _Shit_.

"Bruce?"

He hummed in response, trying to act as if he had been on the verge of sleep instead of the verge of a mental breakdown because he was in love with four people, one of which was half a fucking _cat_.

Silence stretched between them and Bruce wondered if Elyse had drifted off to sleep, but he could feel the muscles in her back tense up under his fingers.

"... after the fire, when you came home, did-" she cut herself off and Bruce could feel her hold her breath, could practically see the gears in her head turning. She pinched the fabric of his shirt between her fingers and huffed quietly.

"Did I what?"

"No, never mind, it's stupid." Elyse shrugged but after a moment, she continued on in hushed tones, "There was a lot going on and I was in shock but it just, it seemed like... I couldn't help but... no, sorry, just- just ignore me. It doesn't-"

"Elyse."

"Were you going to kiss me?"

Out of all the questions she could have asked, he hadn't expected that. His hand went rigid against her back and his eyes widened in panic, mouth going dry as he thought how to reply. He had just come to the conclusion that he _loved_ her and didn't want to accidentally blurt that out, not here, not now.

"It's okay," she reassured him quietly and briefly, for a quick second, Bruce wondered if he died, "I was just imagining it, I knew it, just forget about it-"

"No," Bruce said so quietly that he could barely hear himself, and so he repeated it firmer, his fingers curling against the fabric of her shirt. "No, I- yeah. _Yeah_. I thought about it. I thought about kissing you."

Matt shifted his legs underneath the blankets, his cold foot brushing up against Bruce's thigh.

Through the walls, Bruce could hear faint whispering coming from the living room. Adam and Joel. That was probably the noise she had heard earlier, he realized, as Elyse pressed her face further into the crook of his neck.

"... you could have," she said shyly, her face close enough that he could feel her lips brushing against his neck. "I wouldn't have stopped you."

"Oh", Bruce said eloquently. Something settled low in his gut and a slow, creeping warmth spread from the top of his head, down to his fingers and toes. It worried him that he was handling all this so well.

"Goodnight Bruce," Elyse whispered, already half asleep.

"Goodnight."

&

Bruce was woken up by a kiss to the corner of his mouth, so gentle that he thought he had imagined it, that he was still asleep and dreaming, but he slowly opened his eyes and saw Elyse smiling down at him. She was crouched by the side of the bed again, wearing one of Adam's shirts, and her eyes were shining. The early morning sunlight caught her hair just right and for it moment it looked like she was _glowing_.

"You know, I could get used to this," he smirked, reaching a hand out to grab her wrist and pull her back into bed. Elyse giggled and lightly batted his hands away with a quick shake of her head.

"Come on sleepyhead, Adam said he's gonna make pancakes and bacon for breakfast," she grinned as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She looked down at him, face scrunched up in contemplation, and then suddenly she was leaning down and pressing her mouth against his.

Her lips were soft and warm. That was about as much as his brain could process because they were kissing and how long had he thought about this exact moment?

It was a short and sweet thing and shortly after it started, Elyse pulled back, her cheeks dusted pink. She looked so cute that Bruce wanted to kiss her over and over again just to see how much he could make her blush.

"So. Breakfast. Let's go," she said with a weird little wiggle before she stood up and left the room with a bounce to her step. Bruce stared at the doorway and sighed wistfully as he reclined his head back against his pillow. This was all too good to be true, there was no way that this was his life.

Next to him, Matt rolled over and woke up with a grumbly sort of noise.

" 'Morning," he greeted with a yawn and barely opened eyes as he snuggled his face against his pillow. It was too much for Bruce and without putting too much thought into his actions, he leaned over and pecked him on the lips, moving his head back just in time to see Matt blink at him with owlish eyes.

"You just kissed me," Matt said slowly.

"About damn time too," he said and Matt looked equal parts pleased and confused, and so Bruce continued, "Adam's making pancakes and bacon, so we better get up and going before Joel eats it all."

Matt hummed happily and with his hair all mussed up and a small, nearly private smile on his face, how could Bruce resist giving him another quick kiss before getting up to get dressed for the day?

(He couldn't. Bruce was a weak, weak man).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was supposed to be about spooky shenanigans but it got away from me
> 
> i'm not sorry


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise, it's an update. is shiphaus even really a thing anymore? no idea, but i am Determined to finish this fic this year. it's 2018, we're gonna get things done yall
> 
> i could give excuses and explanations for the delay in updates but instead, i just want to thank everyone who's read and/or commented on this, especially during the past year or so since the last update (good golly it's been awhile hasn't it?). you guys are amazing, thank you <3
> 
> so, without further ado: ghost shenanigans

"Try it now!"

A moment of silence passed before Elyse shouted from upstairs, "Nope, still nothing!"

"Dammit," Bruce muttered to himself. With a sigh, he leaned his arm against the wall and stared at the open breaker box before him. Bruce wasn't an electrician by any means, but he knew just enough to feel confident enough to try and fix the lights. They had been flickering all week and had recently started to switch on and off by themselves. Loose wires, probably. Except maybe it was something more complicated than that, because now, after Bruce had tweaked and fiddled with the circuit breaker, the lights wouldn't turn back on.

The floorboards creaked overhead and Bruce could hear someone open up the basement door. "Come on up dude, take a break. Lunch is ready," Adam called down.

With a final glare at the wires and fuses, Bruce shut the lid and headed on upstairs.

Elyse met with him with a small, sympathetic smile and a plated sandwich. "No luck huh?"

"I feel like I'm getting close," Bruce lied as he took the plate with a dip of his head in thanks. He moved to sit at the small kitchen island next to Matt, who was finishing up the last of his lunch.

"You sure?" Matt asked as he pushed a chip around his plate. "It's... not too late to call a professional to come check it out."

Realistically, Bruce knew that that would be the smart thing to do. It would get fixed quicker that way and Bruce wouldn't be facing the risk of possible electrocution. But this was _personal_ now, goddammit. He refused to let anyone else try their hand at it. "No, it's fine. I just need a few more minutes down there and it'll be all set." A small pause as he took a bite of his sandwich. "You'll see."

Elyse finished making her own lunch and hopped up onto the counter over by the sink, sitting next to where Adam was leaning. He swirled his cup around, the contents inside audibly splashing against the plastic. "I wish we knew how many problems this place had before we bought it," he said simply before taking a lengthy sip.

Bruce stopped mid-chew to shoot Adam a glare. "You do realize that _you're_ the reason we're here, right?"

They had already taken a mortgage out on the house. It was just a little too late for regrets.

Adam merely shrugged in reply and Bruce, not for the first time since they had met, felt the strong and sudden urge to strangle him. It'd be pointless, really, since Adam was a vampire, but it would feel _good_ , he just knew it. 

"Look, all I'm saying here is that this place has issues. Shit keeps happening and it's just..." Adam trailed off as he looked for the word, face scrunched up in thought. ".. freaky, I guess, I don't know."

Scoffing, Bruce shook his head minutely and focused on is lunch. There was a light, almost tangible tension in the room now. Bruce tried to ignore it, he really did, but it was steadily growing harder and harder with each passing second. From the corner of his eye, Bruce could see Elyse and Adam give each other a knowing look and that was it. Bruce took the bait.

"... like what?"

"Well, like, you know," Elyse started, speaking just a little too fast, as if she had been waiting to say something about this for awhile now, "the light thing is kind of weird, isn't it? Like it just started a few days ago, it hasn't been happening since we moved in. And it's just the lights, all the appliances are fine." She ran a hand through her hair and shrugged. "A-And the house makes some weird noises. All that creaking and groaning can't be-"

"It's an old place. Old houses make noise," Bruce interrupted.

"Yeah, but the cold spots-"

"Termites." Bruce set his sandwich back on his plate. "Matt said so the day we moved in. Right Matt?" Bruce asked, looking over at the other man. He waited for him to explain it to Elyse, for Matt to be the voice of reason here... except Matt didn't say anything. He kept his eyes focused on his soda and very pointedly did not meet Bruce's eyes.

"Matt, buddy, come on."

Matt's eyes flickered up to Elyse for just a moment before darting back to his soda.

"It's..." he cleared his throat. "I-I don't think it's termites."

They had all had this discussion before, Bruce realized. This wasn't the first time they had talked about the 'freaky' things that have been happening since they moved in. He knew what they were suggesting- it was right there on the tips of everyone's tongues, and yet no one dared to say it.

"You guys are ridiculous," Bruce scoffed as he folded his arms and rested them a top the counter. "Absolutely ridiculous."

"You said it yourself bud, the house is pretty old," Adam challenged with an arched eyebrow. 

"Just because it's old doesn't mean it's-" Bruce couldn't bring himself to say it. Saying it would give the idea some credibility. He felt a chill creep down his spine and he shivered at the idea of... of what his friends were insinuating here. "People have to report that sort of stuff, you know. They can't just _not_."

"You saw the guy who sold us this place. I don't think he cared much for regulations."

"Adam, shut up."

"Well it's possible, isn't it?" Elyse asked softly. The room grew quiet and still. "We could.. I mean, it happens, ya know? We _could_ be living with an actual ghost here."

There was a moment of silence. And then, suddenly, all the lights flicked back on.

Bruce screamed. It was loud and high-pitched and incredibly embarrassing- or it would have been, if Adam hadn't screeched alongside him. Elyse went pale and covered her mouth with her hand. The soda can Matt had been holding crushed in his hand and he simply blinked at the mess he had made of both himself and the counter.

"Oh my fucking _god_."

Everyone started talking at once, words rushed and nervous. Bruce focused on calming his heart rate down, eyes locked on the light switch across the kitchen. It hadn't moved.

"M-Maybe it was a fluke, a delayed wiring... thing," he suggested, not really believing his weak excuse, but not wanting to believe in the alternative either.

"Hey, uh, ghost?" Adam called out loudly. Elyse smacked his shoulder but he ignored her. "Was that a goddamn _fluke_?"

The lights very deliberately switched off and then back on.

"Nope," Elyse said shakily as she hoped off the counter. "Nope, I can't- I can't do this, I can't be here right now." She rushed out of the kitchen and Bruce watched as flames started to ignite along her arms and the top of her head. She bolted outside through the back door just as Matt rushed out of the room, nearly knocking his stool over in his haste.

"Oh my god, this house is haunted," Adam said slowly. Bruce dragged a hand over his face and forced himself to try and calm down. "We live in a fucking haunted house."

"Adam, I need you to shut up for a minute."

" _A haunted fucking house Bruce_."

Bruce breathed out slowly. Matt quickly entered the kitchen and headed right out the back door with a bundle in his arms. Through the windows, Bruce watched as Matt covered Elyse with the emergency fire blanket they bought for situations like these, doing his best to tune out Adam's nervous ramblings. A vampire, worried about a ghost. It would have been comical if Bruce wasn't also terrified out of his mind right now.

Shit, Bruce wish he knew more about spirits. He knew that not all of them were malicious, that at one point they had just been normal people, but he couldn't stop thinking about all the horror movies he had seen. Things always started out small and innocent, but they'd escalate further and further until people died and _shit_ -

"What's with all the hullabaloo?"

Bruce startled, his hand curled tight in his shirt right over his heart. Joel was standing in the door way, yawning as he tightened the sash on his bathrobe. His hair was a curly mess and he didn't even bother to try and fix it as he sleepily looked over at Bruce. "Wha' happened?"

"Don't panic," Adam started slowly, looking paler than usual. It was almost impressive. "But there's reason to believe that this house is haunted."

Joel crossed the kitchen and padded his way over to the fridge, lightly scratching at his jaw. He seemed entirely unbothered. "Yeah, doi."

"Wait- Hold the phone. You _knew_?" Bruce was going to kill him. He was going to kill his familiar and then worry about finding a new non-haunted home for him and his friends.

"Yeah?" Joel reached into the fridge and grabbed the milk, popping the lid off and taking a sip. Neither Bruce nor Adam could be bothered to scold him at the moment. "It's no big deal," Joel shrugged as he licked his upper lip. "It's just Spoole."

The lights rapidly flicked on and off. Bruce was going to have a goddamn heart attack.

".... what the fuck is a Spoole?!"


End file.
